Sexuality

Sexuality » Homosexuality

Question:

Answered on 05/04/06:

So, how do you deal with old friends? In two ways. Number one, you don’t be deceived by the thoughts that keep coming to you because even though the thoughts come, that doesn’t mean that you’ve given in to them. That doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you just because you’ve had thoughts. We’ve all had thoughts. We all have had millions of thoughts. That is why the Bible says we need to take thoughts captive.

The difference between your life now and what you were before is that now you’re dealing with it. In the past, the thoughts would grow and then they would become an imagination, something that you’d think about all the time, and then it would become a stronghold. It would have a strong hold on you and it would control your actions and behavior. That’s how it was in the past.

But now, you’re dealing with it in the thought level. Now it gets to the thoughts and you don’t let it go to the imaginations and you don’t let it become a stronghold so now it can’t control you. So keep taking those thoughts captive. Realize that even though the thoughts come, that’s not who you really are. Even though the thoughts come, the real you is a woman of God, a child of God, a woman who can control herself and can avoid sexual sin.

You need to continue to deal with things at your thought level. Intensify that even more and fill yourself up with the Word of God because you need to replace bad thoughts with God’s Word in your mind and coming out of your mouth.

The second thing you must do is you must sever relationships with those people. You must not call them. You must not let them call you. You must not answer their calls. You must not respond to them. You have to cut off those relationships.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 15:33-34, “Bad company corrupts good morals.” So, it’s being with the wrong people that will corrupt you and it’s not you. You are a new creature in Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “If any man is in Christ, he is a new creature. The old things have passed away.” You’re a brand-new person. But your new person can still be corrupted and act like the old person if you hang around that crowd still.

So you’ve got to avoid those environments and avoid those people. Run from them. Flee. The Bible says flee from them. If you’ve said everything that you can say to them, then just stay away from them.

Really, for me, it wasn’t me running away from my friends. It was that I began preaching to them and they ended up running away from me. Some got saved and then the others ran away. They didn’t want anything to do with me. So attack them with the Word and start preaching to them if they keep coming. Remember God told Lot to separate himself from those that were in Sodom and Gomorrah that were homosexuals and lesbians.

And I’m not judging homosexuals and lesbians. We know that the act of homosexuality is wrong but the people are just as loved by God as I’m loved by God; as my newborn baby is loved by God. God loves the person who is in homosexuality as much as He loves my baby.

God told Lot, “Get out of the city and run from Sodom and Gomorrah.” But he didn’t do it at first. The people there kept pressing against him, pressing against him, pressing against him and it ended up costing him his wife and some of his children because he did not really take it seriously the first time. And then the angel had to really to pull him out of there and it was too late for some of the rest of his relatives.

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

We’re all born sinners and unless one is born again, he cannot enter the kingdom of God, John 3:3 says. We all need to be born again whether the only sin we ever committed was stealing our brother’s rattle or whether the sin we committed is being a homosexual, we were all born sinners and that’s why we must be born again.

I didn’t become a sinner when I started to sin. I became a sinner by being born into the human race under the seed of Adam. And that’s why I have to be born again and that’s why you and every person who’s involved in homosexuality and immorality and drunkenness and everything else, we all need to be born again simply because we were all born sinners to begin with.

And absolutely choice plays a part in it. Even though we’re born sinners, we choose whether we’re going to live lifestyles of sin. So, yes, choice definitely takes place in the matter. When I was of age to sin, there are some sins that I chose and there are some sins that I did not choose. One of the sins that I did not choose was the sin of homosexuality. Nevertheless, I was still born with the seed of homosexuality and so were you and so was everybody else. I was born with the seed of alcoholism in me. That doesn’t mean I was an alcoholic.

But every one of us was born with the seed of all sin inside of us and that’s why we have to be born again so that we can have the seed of God’s spirit inside of us and then, yes, we still need to make the choice. But just because I chose to go after women and some other man chose to go after men, neither of us were right. We were both sinners and we need to be born again.

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

Now, if his father is somebody that has hurt him, has sexually assaulted him in some way or abused him in some way, either emotionally or sexually or in any way, if he abused your son, that’s not somebody that you want to talk to him. But there’s go to be a relationship that can be established between him and some godly men in your church. So, if you’re plugged into a church, the first thing you need to do is make sure you’re plugged into a good, Bible-believing church.

Secondly, get some men in the church who you see as godly men, who are leaders in the church to maybe start developing a relationship with your son, going to movies, going out to eat, for a cup of coffee, something that would establish a relationship with your son. And then they can start to open up with him and he can start to open up with them. But if you already hit it head-on with him, you’re not going to be able to open him up. Hopefully some men can establish a relationship, maybe they come around and play some basketball with him or something, that would be the best way to start to see him open up to them.

There’s also some good material out there about lust and about sexual sin. Steve Arturburn is the author of a book called Every Man’s Battle. There’s a website that you can go to called everymansbattle.com and it deals with sexual sin and sexual addictions. I think that it would be a good thing for you to look up some books or material that you can read up on so that you can be praying for your son and ministering to him. That would be very, very good for you to do as well.

Outside of that, obviously praying for him is never going to hurt. It’s always going to succeed. James 5:16, “the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” And pray with authority. Command Satan, command the spirit of lust, the spirit of homosexuality to take its hands off of your son in the name of Jesus. And pray with authority, pray with power. Don’t just pray hoping that God will do something. You command that devil to be gone.

Now, also, I want you to know that the sin of homosexuality is no different than the sin of heterosexuality. Sex outside of marriage is just as much sin as anything else and sex inside of marriage can be sin when it’s motivated by lust and impurity. My point is that God looks at the heart and God wants a pure heart. And if you’re sinful in the area of heterosexuality, homosexuality is not any worse. What’s the difference between somebody who commits adultery with somebody of the opposite sex and somebody who commits immorality with somebody of the same sex? To God, it’s the same thing. To God, sin is sin.

So, the person who has feelings or a person who has a sense of being drawn to other men is no different than the man who is drawn to other women that are not his wife. Sin is sin. And we need to guard our hearts. If my sin is smoking and drinking, and your sin is homosexuality, am I better? Is my sin less bad because it’s not homosexuality? I don’t believe that. I believe that to God, sin is sin. I don’t see “levels” of sin in the Bible, at least to my knowledge.

And again, I’m not endorsing homosexuality, but I’m saying if you treat it as taboo, like “Ooooh. There’s a real bad person. He’s a homosexual. But this guy over here who’s into pornography and loose living, he’s not as bad.” He’s just as bad. Lust is lust. Sin is sin. And we need to see that. If we can communicate that to people, get that across to people who struggle with homosexuality, they’ll stop being alienated and they’ll start coming to people who can help them and that’s people who are not judging them any more than we’re judging anybody else. And we shouldn’t be judging anybody; we should be taking the log out of our own eye so that we can see clearly to take the speck out of somebody else’s eye.

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

Somewhere along our lives there was a fracture in our relationship with our fathers. There’s something inside of us that’s broken and it needs to be fixed and it needs to be healed. Often our earthly father disappointed us, let us down, and didn’t raise us with love and affirmation and affection. We need to forgive that man and we need to go to our Heavenly Father and receive the affection and the love that only He can give. And when we get it from Him, men and women will not want to participate in sexual sin anymore because they are getting their affection and affirmation from our Heavenly Father. We just did a teaching on that called, Healing the Father Fracture, and I’d encourage you to go to the Online Bookstore section of our website at changinglives.org and get that tape.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

Sexuality » Adultery

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

So, no, he’s not broken the covenant with you. The only time that he would break his covenant with you is if he divorced you in his heart first and then legally. Legal is just the paperwork that catches up with what people have already done in their heart. So, it doesn’t sound to me, from what you’ve said, that he has not done that. It sounds to me like he has an emotional crisis in his life, an emotional problem and weakness in his life, and he needs to continue to get counseling to overcome the problem with lust that he has. That’s what he needs. He needs mercy and he needs help with the area of lust in his life. He needs tough love sometimes with that, but he needs a plan of how to break free from lust. That’s number one.

Number two, what are my thoughts on what Jesus meant when He said that if a man lusts after a woman in his heart, he’s already committed adultery. I believe what that means is if that man is fantasizing about that woman and allows that fantasy to play in his mind and to occupy his mind, then he has committed adultery in his heart. But I don’t believe that if a man recognizes that a woman is beautiful that he’s committed adultery in his heart. I don’t believe that. I don’t believe that lust and recognition are the same thing. I believe that lust means that you are going to do whatever you can do to have that thing or to have that and to fantasize about that and to roll that over in your heart and mind continually. Then yes, there is adultery that is taking place.

But it is in the heart. And Jesus was simply internalizing the gospel and saying, “Look, what’s in our heart is what matters more than just what we do on the outside because what we do on the inside is eventually going to show up on the outside.” He was trying to get people to realize that Christianity is a heart issue, not just a behavior issue. And that’s why the focus was on the heart.

But I’m not excusing your husband at all. I’m not saying pornography isn’t lust and it isn’t sin – it is. It’s wrong and he needs to break free from it, but he needs counseling to break free from it. Again, I don’t know enough about your situation, so I don’t want you to just take my word as the only word, but compare it to the Word of God. If your husband wants to stay with you and wants to work it out and wants to deal with the problems in his life, then he hasn’t broken his marriage covenant to you.

If your husband is caught up in pornography and refuses to change and he’s not adhering to the counsel that’s being given to him and he’s not following the counsel that’s being given to him, you don’t need to subject yourself to that. I would consider a time of separation if it’s at that point – and I can’t read your mind or read your heart. But I know that a lot of people think that “the only way I can get out of this marriage is if he committed adultery against me or if she has committed adultery against me.” And if the marriage is that bad where you have to find a reason like that, then obviously there are worse problems in a marriage sometimes and we need to address those problems and see if those can be fixed. See if you can find it in your heart to truly love your husband again. And if you can, then praise God. And if you can’t, then God would understand that and He is a merciful God and He is the God of second chances.

I’m not encouraging you to do that. I’m just saying that God would understand that if it comes to that. But you should go through intense counseling before it would have to come to that. I understand the pain that you must feel and we want to help you and God wants to help you. You don’t have to make your husband out to be the bad guy for you to get the healing that you need in your heart. And God will heal you. If God can heal inside the marriage, He will and if he has to take you out of the marriage to heal you, He will because God loves the people in a marriage more than He loves the institution of the marriage. He loves the institution of the marriage, but He loves the people more and He loves you more.

Sexuality» General

Question:

Answered on 05/30/06:

The Bible says, “Flee from the appearance of evil.” So I would encourage you to be careful not to put yourself in a situation. Is it sin for you to spend the night at his house? Not necessarily. But the Bible says, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.” Even if you were living together, and you weren’t sleeping together and having sex, I don’t find it in the Bible where that is a sin. But I find that when two people are attracted to each other and they’re alone, I find that to be hard to resist. And so I would stay out of situations like that.

To answer your question, I don’t find in the Bible where it’s a sin to spend the night, but I do find that it’s hard to be in a tempting situation and not stumble. So don’t cause your brother to stumble. In this case, don’t cause your fiance to stumble because you spend the night at his house. He’s obviously likes you, that’s why he wants to marry you. So, I would be cautious of that, and I would flee from the appearance of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5 tells us to run from the appearance of it—and not just the evil itself. Because it’s not evil to be engaged, but to flee from the appearance of something that would lead you to sin or lead others to believe that you were engaging in sin.

Question:

I’ve been battling with masturbation. And from time to time I’ll go on the internet and I’ll just be looking up stuff for this and that and something will come across and I’ll just click it on. And I just keep on going further and further to the point where I just keep on masturbating. The thing that’s hurting me is I know I’m not supposed to do it, but I keep on doing it and I don’t want to do it anymore, but I keep on doing it. And I just don’t want God to think that I enjoy doing this. It’s something that I’m fighting; it’s not something that I’m encouraging. I don’t want to do it anymore.

Answered on 04/12/06:

The second thing that I want you to understand is that you’re no different than Paul the Apostle. You’re in good company because Paul the Apostle says in Romans chapter 7, “The thing that I don’t want to do, I end up doing. And the thing I want to do, I end up not being able to do. So, now what do I do?” And that’s basically what Romans chapters 6 and 7 are all about.

The good news is that Romans chapter 6 & 7 is not the end of the book of Romans; it goes on to chapter 8. And chapter 8 is where the victory is. It’s where the Promised Land is, it’s where you’re going to find your sense of victory. I want to encourage you to read chapters 7 & 8 of Romans.

First of all, you’ve got to take the pressure off of yourself. God’s not going to judge you and God’s not mad at you. So, first take the pressure off. Secondly, you’ve got to be honest, which you’ve done. Thirdly, you have to recognize that you’re not alone, that you’re not the only one dealing with the thing you’re dealing with. Paul the Apostle had struggles with sin and temptation – maybe not the same ones you’re dealing with. And even though Jesus never sinned, the Bible says we have a High Priest who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. So, those are the first things of importance that I need to share with you.

Now, here are six simple steps to break free from lust and break the addiction to masturbation or any sexual sin.

Number one, you must be honest to God about your situation. You’ve got to go to Him. Psalm chapter 32 says, “When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away as with the fever heat of summer. So, number one, we’ve got to be honest with God, admit it God, and admit it to yourself.

Number two; pour your heart out to God. Tell Him how much you want to do this but you don’t want to do it. How tempting it is but how you know it’s wrong. Tell Him. Be honest. Don’t say, “Oh Lord, I never want to do this again. I never want to do this again.” That’s a lie. You know you want to do it again. People do want to sin again. And we need to be honest and not pretend that we don’t really want to do it when in our minds and in our flesh, we really do. Our heart doesn’t want to sin, but our flesh does. And we need to pour our heart out to God and say, “Lord, I’m struggling. I’ve wanted to do this and I don’t want to do it. I’m confused. I’m caught in the middle and I need help. And pour your heart out to God and ask for help. Hebrews 4:15-16.

Number three; meditate on the Word of God. Psalm 119:9 says, “How can a young man remain pure, sexually pure?” And then the answer is, “by keeping his way according to the Word of God.” So, we have to meditate on the Word, meditate on the Word, meditate on the Word. And we will be able to remain pure as we think of the Word, as we read the Word, as we speak the Word out of our mouth.

Number four, take communion. People say, “Well, I can’t take communion until I get rid of this sin.” No, take communion and say, “Lord, I am taking communion because when I drink this cup, I am drinking the blood of Jesus that will deliver me from this lust. I am believing that the blood of Jesus is enough to cleanse me and to set me free from the power of this lust – whether its masturbation or lust or pornography, whatever it is. I believe, Lord, that when I take communion, You’re going to set me free.” Most people will tell you that you have to stop sinning before you take communion, but that’s not true. You have to take communion and say, “Lord, I believe your blood is worthy enough to deliver me from this sin.”

Number five, stop condemning yourself. You have to get out of the habit of beating yourself up when you stumble. You go to God, you confess it to Him and He’ll cleanse you and wash you from it, but don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re going to find that that step alone will set you more free than you ever thought you could be before.

And number six, have someone in your church hold you accountable. Find somebody that you can trust in your church – one of the pastors, one of the elders, one of the department leaders that you can trust – and have them hold you accountable on a regular basis, not just once in a while. Tell them, “Look, I’m struggling with this and I want you to ask me every three or four days how I’m doing in this area and I’m going to be honest with you.” You follow those 6 steps and you will be well on your path to freedom. This is the way out.

Question:

What’s the difference between fornication and adultery?

Answered on 04/12/06:

Question:

I’ve been serious with a girl, and recently I discovered that she is a virgin and is saving herself for marriage, which I fully support 100%. The thing is: I don’t want to marry a virgin. Sex is a very important part of a marriage, and I prefer to be with a girl who knows what she’s doing.

Answered on 04/12/06:

When a woman has kept herself for marriage, that is the greatest honor she can give you. Why would you want a woman who has been involved with other men – and who could later be involved with other men again?

It’s good for a man to have a wife who is a virgin. She’s not going to be a virgin after your wedding night; she will know what to do. God created men and women to know what to do during the act of sex. They don’t need to have been involved with other people to know what to do. They will know what to do instinctively and by educating themselves. She’ll want to learn what will please you, and you should want to know what will please her. If you are not going to get involved with somebody else after you get married to a woman, why would you want somebody who has been?

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t marry somebody who has had sex in the past. What I am saying is that God set marriage and sex up for both people to be virgins. You can get married after you’ve had sex in the past, but know that it was wrong . . . it didn’t contribute to you having a healthy marriage. It actually contributes to problems in marriage. That is why God wants to protect us from that, and that is why the Bible teaches us not to be involved in immorality.

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

Pornography is wicked and will open the door to so many other sins. It will open the door to greed, selfishness, anger, putting demands on the other person and unrealistic expectations that they are not able to fulfill. So no, I don’t endorse that ever in any situation.

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

There’s no clear place in Scripture that says that oral sex is prohibited but nor is there a place that says that it is endorsed. It’s not either. It’s one of those gray areas that has to be left up to the self-governing, responsible, loving marital communication with each other. If one person insists upon it and the other person is uncomfortable with it, then there you have your answer. It should not be participated in. If both parties think that it’s okay, there is nothing unbiblical that I have found in the Bible that would speak against it or teach against it.

But that’s where you have to be sensitive to your spouse; they have to be sensitive to you. And there has to be agreement about that. And both parties should respectful of one another to where if one person has a problem with it, then they should honor each other and they should defer to each other.

Now, having said that, nobody in a marriage can say, “Well, I have a problem with sex, period.” Because if somebody says that then that’s totally unbiblical because the Bible says in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 not to withhold yourself from one another, that your body belongs to your spouse and your spouse’s body belongs to you and you should not deprive one another sexually when you are married. So, that’s something that somebody can’t just say, “Well, I’m not in agreement about having sex.” “Or I’m not in agreement about having sex often.”

People that are married should have sex and they should have it often. And if they don’t, they should read their Bibles and pray and find out in the Scripture how they can recover from maybe a fear or if they’ve been abused or they’ve been hurt and they should get some counseling to really help them through that.

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

Therefore, I believe single people should stay uninvolved with physical activity with each other because it only leads to more. It is like lighting a firecracker and then trying to put it out before it goes off. I don’t believe people should be involved at that level based on the Scripture that it is not good for a man to touch a woman. Make a commitment to that man or woman in holy matrimony and then touch them with all that your heart desires and enjoy them all the days of your life. Reserving that for holy matrimony is my recommendation.

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

Question:

I know that the Christian faith is against premarital sex, but I’m thinking that you have to have sex before marriage to find out whether you are sexually compatible. What do you think?

Answered on 04/11/06:

Premarital sex will hurt you emotionally and spiritually. It sows bad seeds in your life because marriage is built on trust and when you have premarital sex, you are betraying that person’s trust. You are telling her that you lack self-control, and in a relationship, trust and self-control are really the same issue.

So, it’s not religion that says you shouldn’t have premarital sex; it’s common sense. Sex is the highest form of intimacy and is reserved for a commitment where you should value yourself – and a woman should value herself – enough not to want to give it to somebody who is unwilling to make a lifetime commitment. That is one of the main reason premarital sex is detrimental to your life and your relationship and your future. So you’ve got to get your hormones in order, and you’ve got to be able to control yourself because that is one of the fruits of the Spirit. You will succeed in life when you have self-control.

Question:

Answered on 04/10/06:

The second thing you need to do is have open communication with your husband. You need open communication where you guys can talk about anything freely, where nobody feels like its threatening or nobody feels like it’s out of bounds. You need to be able to speak freely to each other about what you’re dealing with and what you’re going through.

Number three, I think that the Bible says in James chapter two, “Faith without works is dead.” And so, in order to get your faith built up, you’ve got to go to the Word of God. Because the Bible says, “As you meditate on the Word of God day and night, you’ll prosper in whatever you put your hand to.”

The Scriptures I would give you is Psalm1:1-3, Joshua 1:7-8. And realize that as you meditate on the Word of God, it affects your attitude towards your spouse. I would also encourage you to pray for your spouse. Pray for his needs to be met. Pray for God to bless him. Pray for him to be satisfied in every way. As you do that in prayer, then you’ll find yourself attracted to him much more than you are right now.

Also, don’t wait. The mistake that people make in marriage is that they wait until they feel attracted to one another again before they become intimate. And what you need to do is you need to be intimate as a practice in your lives even if you don’t feel it and then the feelings will come. You’ll find yourself more attracted. The feelings will come, but you can’t wait for that.

You have to continue to act on the Word of God to continue to make sure that your works accompany your faith and whether you feel it or not, that you give yourself to your husband and that you guys commit yourselves to be intimate regardless of whether you feel it or whether you don’t.

Follow those steps. Practice that. Practice makes perfect. The fact is that you need to continue to be intimate with your husband even if you don’t feel attracted to him because your feelings will come and go. Sometimes you’re going to feel attracted to him, sometimes you’re not. And you have to make up your mind to live by faith.

Question:

During the war, I had a wonderful Christian wife, but we were often separated for a year or more at a time. That time apart was hard because there was a lot of sexual temptation, including masturbation. What does God say about that?

Answered on 04/10/06:

Nowhere in Scripture does Jesus endorse a sexual release outside marriage. I know that some people have a problem with that, but it can be done. God gives us the grace to do it. There are seasons of time where you can restrain yourself, and I believe that we have to do that and our kids have to do that.

Sex is about giving, not taking. When you understand that context, you can see that you should only be involved in sex when you’re giving pleasure to your spouse, not when you’re focused on enjoying yourself. We have to exercise self-control. The Bible says that we need to conduct our bodies with honor, as holy vessels that belong to the Lord, as temples of the Holy Spirit. In the right context, sex becomes great – and beautiful. But outside of the context of marriage, it’s perverted and it will lead to hurt. Somebody will get hurt – emotionally, spiritually – and have to face the repercussions of sex outside of marriage.

Question:

Answered on 04/10/06:

Psalm 119: David said "How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to the Word.” Then he goes on in verse 11, “Thy Word, oh Lord, I have treasured in my heart and as a result I will not sin against thee.” You need to build up God's Word in your heart and treasure it in your heart then you won't sin against God.

We are imprisoned to selfishness and to the flesh. And that is why we need to crucify our flesh and surrender to Jesus Christ. And you must be holy. It is a commandment. “Be ye holy even as I am holy.” He doesn't say “if you are out of jail or in jail.”

People that are in jail made mistakes. I am not saying everyone is in jail because they really should have been; some people were wrongly accused. But for the most part, people in prison have committed a crime. The reality is that God doesn't excuse them from honoring their temple and their body just because they sinned and committed crimes worthy of being put in prison. God is a merciful God and he will give them the ability to overcome sin.

The Bible says, “Awake to righteousness and you will sin not.” So when true believers realize and open their eyes to who they are in Christ and the power of God that is in their life (power over lust, power over sin, power over temptation), then they can live holy and must live holy.

One of the most destructive sins that we commit in our lives is sexual sin. That is why God puts it in the Bible in both the Old Testament and New Testament. He warns us severely against sexual sin because it doesn't just damage somebody else, but it damages your soul, your emotions, your body, the very core of your being as well as it damages other people in the process.

Yes, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7, “Better to marry than to burn.” But He means better to marry than to burn with passion. If you are in a relationship with someone and you can't control yourself, you either need to get out of that relationship so that you are not tempted or commit yourself to that person because it is stealing. It is burglarizing God and it is burglarizing somebody else when you try to be involved sexually with someone to whom you are not married.

Even if they consent fully, it is still stealing because that person does not belong to you. So give them back to God and trust God, And yes you can live holy. Some of the things we just shared are some of the ways you can do that. I encourage you to get our tape series on “Biblical Manhood” and it will really show how to live holy. It is good for men and women. Get the teaching “Biblical Manhood.” It goes through the steps to overcoming lust.

Sexuality » Before Marriage

Question:

Answered on 04/11/06:

How do you define marriage? First of all, God brings two people together of course. Second, we make a commitment to each other. But third, we do need to honor the laws of the land and God has given the laws of the land and that is that you need a marriage license. And that marriage should be ordained by a minister who is ordained to marry and to bury and to baptize.

So I really think that you should get that on paper and get that worked out right away. Go down to the courthouse tomorrow, whatever county that you’re in because yes, you are living in sin if you’re not married legally.

Question:

Answered on 04/04/06: