Emotions

Emotions » Guilt

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

I think that you can do two things. First of all, there are times when God asks people to lay down what they’re doing to serve somebody else, to serve God in some way, to serve a relative or a loved one in some way, and there’s nothing wrong with that when God is the one speaking that and God is the one initiating that. But when the person is trying to make us feel guilty to do that, then they are trying to control us and manipulate us and you need to make up your mind that you’re not going to be manipulated.

There’s nothing wrong with being able to help your mother with the other part of the life that you want to live. You go on with the life that God, that you believe God has for you. And still, you’ll be able to serve your mother. But you can’t be manipulated by her and you can’t be controlled by her. It’s not right that somebody induces guilt to get you to show love because then it’s not genuine and it’ll never be enough and it’ll only make you bitter years from now. You’ve already probably feel tempted to start feeling bitter. I’m sure you’ve dealt with bitter feelings.

And yes, I can point you to something in the Bible. I want to ask you get my tape because I know it’s all from the Bible. It’s a tape we did a few months ago called, “Not Guilty.” I want you to get that. That’s the most important thing that you need to hear in your life right now. And it talks about how to not let people make you feel guilty and other things you’ve done wrong. Go to the products section on the website and you should be able to find it.

Question:

Answered on 04/25/06:

So you shouldn’t move forward with having more children until you are both in agreement. You shouldn’t move forward in getting a dog unless you are both in agreement. You shouldn’t move forward in selling your house and buying a new one unless you are both in agreement. You should not move forward with any big decision unless you are both in agreement.

God does not speak to us through guilt. Guilt is something that the devil wants us to feel because he never wants us to be happy about the choices we make. God, on the other hand, speaks through peace. It says in Psalm 85 that God speaks peace to his children. So, if you are feeling peace about having another child, then that is a good sign that God is speaking to you, but if you feel guilty about not having more, then that usually is not the Lord speaking to you.

Emotions » Grief

Question:

Answered on 05/11/06:

Where I find comfort in a situation like that is in John chapter 20. When Jesus came to appear to his disciples, there was one of the disciples that said that he didn't believe that Jesus appeared. He wanted to see the nail prints in His hands and the spear in His side and before he would believe. Jesus appeared to Thomas and He said, “Behold, Thomas, look at my hands and look at my side. Now, don’t be unbelieving, believe.” Then of course, Thomas fell to his knees and fell at the feet of Jesus and said, “My Lord and my God.” What did Jesus say? He said, “Thomas, you’ve seen and you have believed. But blessed are those that have not seen and yet, they have believed.”

I think that though I want to see and believe, I want to see your sister healed so I can believe and I want to see other things happen to help me believe. I want to see the dead raised so I can believe and I want to see the lame walk so I can believe. Jesus said the greater blessing is when we can believe Him and believe His Word and believe His promises even when we haven’t seen the manifestation of those things. The greater blessing is to keep believing even when it looks worse and even when it looks like it failed or even when it looks like God didn’t answer our prayers.

We don’t know all the answers behind why your sister died. You’ll never know until you stand before God and until He shows you in heaven. We don’t know why certain tragedies happen in our lives and in our loved ones’ lives but we do know this; we’ll be blessed, we’ll be happy, we’ll be prosperous and we’ll be successful heart and in our minds when we believe even when we have not seen.

There’s nothing wrong with having questions. What you have to realize is that none of those questions are going to get answered by other people, none of those questions are going to get answered by your own heart, those questions are only going to be answered by God. What we find is that the Bible has the only answers that we can count on having for sure in this life, but when we get to heaven, whatever is missing, whatever we didn’t understand, whatever we didn’t know, we’re going to know then.

The good news is, if your sister was a believer (she was) then you need to look at her life on the side of eternity. Once she fought and you fought for her, you both did all the fighting you could but yet, she went home to be with the Lord. Now, there’s nothing to fight. There’s no cancer in her body, there’s no sickness in her body, she is completely healthy and completely healed and she has an immortal body that will never be sick again and you should rejoice in that. Rejoice in the hope that you will see her again.

It won’t be long because even though you might live 40 or 50 more years, it’s but a twinkling of an eye in the face of eternity. I pray that God will comfort you by the Holy Spirit in the absence of your sister and that He’ll be more to you than a sister or a brother could ever be. He’ll be a friend that sticks closer than a brother like it says in Proverbs chapter 18.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

Then you remember the good about your daughter. And you recognize and realize that she’s in heaven and you’ll see her again. Grief is related to death and when you think death is final, then you’re going to grieve forever. But when you realize death causes you to pass into life if you put your faith in Jesus Christ, you’ll live forever, and she’s going to live forever. You’re going to see her again and that should give you hope. And that should give you confidence and the courage to live your life for her now. Let her live her life through you.

Don’t make a second death by you dying to joy and feeling guilty that you can’t be happy because your daughter isn’t here anymore. She’s happy because she’s with God. She’s with Jesus Christ, so she would not want you to be living with guilt like “I can’t have fun or enjoy my life now because my daughter isn’t with me, so it’s unfair for me to enjoy life and for her not to be enjoying life” because you need to realize she IS enjoying life right now with God in His presence. The Bible says, “To be absent from the body is to be present from the Lord.” These are some of the things that will free you from grief.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

Number two, the place we go to Scripture for comfort is Psalm 23. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name sake. He comforts me. He encourages me. He strengthens me. We also go to 2 Corinthians 1, it talks about the God of all comfort will comfort you. Romans 15:13, that He will comfort and He will encourage you with the Scriptures and with the Word of God. 1 Corinthians 13, God will comfort you with His love. Psalm 27, “If my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will take me up.” Hebrews 13:5-8, “He will never leave me or forsake me.” John 14:26-28, that “I will not leave you comfortless, but I will give you a Comforter, who will encourage you and comfort you and strengthen you.”

So be encouraged with those verses, and you know already that your brother is with God, and in the presence of God, and you will see him again. Be encouraged by that. And look up those Scriptures that I just gave you and you’ll be encouraged by those as well.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

Where I find comfort in a situation like that is in John chapter 20. When Jesus came to appear to his disciples, there was one of the disciples that said, “I don’t believe that He’s appeared. I’m going to have to see the nail prints in His hands and I’m going to have to see the spear in His side and then I’ll know. And Jesus appeared to Thomas, appeared to the disciples a second time with Thomas standing there and He said, “Behold, Thomas, look at my hands and look at my side. Now, don’t be unbelieving, be believing.” And then of course, Thomas fell to his knees and fell at the feet of Jesus and said, “My Lord and my God.” And what did Jesus say? He said, “Thomas, you’ve seen and you have believed. But blessed are those that have not seen and yet, they have believed.”

And I think that though I want to see and believe, I want to see your sister healed so I can believe and I want to see other things happen. I want to see the dead raised so I can believe and I want to see the lame walk so I can believe, but Jesus said the greater blessing is when we can believe Him and believe His Word and believe His promises even when we haven’t seen the manifestation of those things. The greater blessing is to keep believing even when it looks worse and even when it looks like it failed or even when it looks like God didn’t answer our prayers. We don’t know all the answers behind why your sister died. You’ll never know until you stand before God and until He shows us in heaven.

We don’t know why certain tragedies happen in our lives and in our loved ones’ lives, but we do know this; we’ll be blessed, we’ll be happy, we’ll be prosperous, we’ll be successful heart and in our minds when we believe even when we have not seen.

There’s nothing wrong with having questions. But what you want to do is, you want to realize that none of those questions are going to get answered by other people, none of those questions are going to get answered by your own heart, those questions are only going to be answered by God. And what we find in the Bible is the only answers that we can count on having for sure in this life, but when we get to heaven, whatever is missing, whatever we didn’t understand, whatever we didn’t know, we’re going to know then.

And the good news is, if your sister was a believer (she was) then you need to look on the side of eternity, that once she fought, once you fought for her, you did all the fighting you could, she did all the fighting she could, but yet, she went home to be with the Lord. And now, there’s nothing to fight. There’s no cancer in her body, there’s no sickness in her body, she is completely healthy and completely healed and she has an immortal body that will never be sick again and you should rejoice in that. Rejoice in the hope that you will see her again.

And it won’t be long because even though you might live 40 or 50 more years, it’s but a twinkling of an eye in the face of eternity. I pray that God will comfort you by the Holy Spirit in the absence of your sister. And that He’ll be more to you than a sister or a brother could ever be. And He’ll be a friend that sticks closer than a brother like it says in Proverbs chapter 18.

Emotions » Anxiety

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

So if you want to be free from anxiety, if you want to be free from excessive worrying and negative feelings, you go to God and make your requests known to Him. With thanksgiving you make your request known to Him. This is where most of us miss it. We make our requests known to Him and then we stay worrying. You can’t offer thanksgiving and worry all at the same time. And so, the way that we battle worry is through praying and by asking God through the requests that we’re asking Him and then enter into thanksgiving. Because as we give Him thanks, then we experience His power, we experience his anointing, we experience the change that He wants in our lives and we experience the peace that He has for our lives. Again the Scripture is Philippians 4:6-8.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

So you have to control what you think about, because what you think about will produce position emotions or negative emotions. So you need to think on God’s Word and meditate on God’s Word. And have his Word playing over and over again in your mind and your heart with tapes, and CDs, all of that to create a new stream of thought. And that stream of thought will eventually produce a new stream of emotions, and it won’t be anxiety. If you meditate on the stream of God’s Word, then it will not produce anxiety anymore. You’ll find the power of that is broken. Also, get our tapes on overcoming anxiety and stress, and that will really encourage you as well.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

Number two, cast your cares upon the Lord. Pause in your life, and cast whatever is bothering you, whatever is on your mind, you roll it over on the Lord. How do you do that? You say, “Lord, I cast this care on You. According to James chapter 4 and 1 Peter chapter 5, I cast this care on You. You care for me and You said that you would take care of the situation. And so I throw this over on You.” And then you enter into praise. You enter into praise, thanksgiving, singing, celebrating.

I’ve been attacked with depression and worry and anxiety like anybody, and I remember one time I was so worried and so consumed with anxiety about a situation that, and I said, “Lord, what do I do about this?” And He said, “Get up and start dancing.” I put some praise music on. Dancing is not something that I do. It’s not in my personality. It’s not in my, you know, my makeup. And yet, that’s what God told me to do. I just started celebrating. I started dancing. Thank God there were no video cameras, because it would have not looked pretty. But it got me out of that anxiety. Because I started to praise God and celebrate with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. And I know that some that think, “Well, I would never do that.” I didn’t think I would ever do that either. Yet there is something that happens when you break out of your self. David danced with all his might. He praised God with all his might. The Bible talks about praising God with dance and with praise and with celebration, with singing.

So I encourage you to do something that you’ve never done before to celebrate the Lord and to praise Him and you’ll, that’s the best way I can think of to deal with panic attacks. And a fourth thing that I would say about it, is the Bible says, Isaiah 26:3, “The mind that is stayed on Him, He will keep in perfect peace.” You need to train your thinking, train your mind to think only on God and God’s Word. And then He will keep you in perfect peace. Perfect peace will be yours.

Emotions » Depression

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

It says in James 1:2, “Count it all joy when you encounter various trials.” So if you have trials, if you’re having difficulty in an area of your life, whether it’s depression or anything else, here’s what God tells us to do: Praise God anyway. Rejoice. And praise God. And you are going to break out of that depression. You can break out of that oppression. Jesus said he came to deliver. “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,” in Luke 4:18 he said, “to set free those that are oppressed.” And so if you’re oppressed or depressed, the Spirit of God will deliver you. So you keep praising God, you keep speaking God’s Word, believing God’s Word, and you can break out of any depression.

And if you need to see a doctor, then do that. But realize that doctors are men. You know, they can help us to a degree, but what we really need is we really need to go to God for answers, and go to God for joy. The joy of the Lord is our strength. And joy comes from believing the Word of God. So you’ve got to be believing the Word of God. Adam and Eve got depressed when stopped believing the Word of God, it led them to sin. And Cain got depressed and it caused him to sin. He got depressed and he stopped believing God’s Word and he started believing a lie, and thought that his real problem was his brother, so that he could take out his problem, but his problem never went away, his problem got worse.

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

That’s where our whole teaching called Mastering Your Emotions came out of was that passage of Scripture. The first thing that we have to identify is that Cain was sad and his countenance had fallen and he was depressed. The first reason was that he didn’t put God first. He had God in his life, but God wasn’t first in his life. Step number one to get that joy back and get rid of that feeling of depression and feeling like giving up and all that’s associated with that is that you got to put God first. Put Him first in your life, your attitude, your tithes and offerings, in your finances. It’s putting God first, really making Him your Lord. Not just fitting Him in your life, but making Him your life.

Number two, Cain thought his problem was with Abel and if Abel changed, then he would be happy. So, the second thing you got to do is to resist the temptation to feel like when somebody else changes, then that’ll make you happy. And then, step number three is that you have to realize that depression, sadness and grief is always knocking at the door, “crouching at the door” the Bible says. And you have to not let it in the door and keep the door shut on it. Keep your eyes on Jesus and you will break out of those feelings of depression. You have to walk by faith and do what you know is right because the Word of God says to do it whether you feel like it or not. The feelings will come and go. But God wants you to know He is on your side and He’s for you and you’re going to make it through this.

Go to the Online Bookstore section of our website and look for our material about overcoming depression and anxiety. And get our teaching on Mastering Your Emotions.

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

The thing about sharing the gospel with other people, we need to realize the number one reason to minister or witness to other people is not because of the feelings that we have or the happiness that we feel because of the Lord, but because there is a heaven and there is a hell and without Jesus, there is no hope to be saved. There is no hope for eternal life without Jesus Christ and that should be enough of a reason to minister to people. Don’t let your feelings stop you, because the reason people should serve God is not because of “Oh, look at what He’s done for me.” But it’s because, “Look at what He’s done for you. He died for your sins so that you could have a way into heaven and a way to have eternal life.”

So, turn the table on the devil on that one and let people know, and you need to know in your mind and heart, it’s not about what God has done for you or about how you feel right now. But it’s about what Jesus has done for that person. And whether we feel it or not, Jesus died for their sins and rose from the dead so that they could be saved.

Now, with depression - and thank God you’re off medication and life is successful on the outside - but yes, there needs to be an infusion of happiness. Here’s what I want to encourage you to do. Go to the Scriptures and look in your concordance and find all the places in the concordance where the word “Happy” is mentioned and look up those Scriptures and do a Bible study because there are several things the Bible says will produce happiness. And if the Word of God is true, which you and I know that it is, if you will do the things that the Bible says produce happiness, you will experience happiness. So go to the Scriptures.

For example, I’ll give you one. Romans 14 it says, “Happy is the man that does not condemn himself.” So chances are, if there’s unhappiness in your life, one of the possible reasons is that you condemn yourself easily, you beat yourself up about your mistakes easily, you feel bad about the shortcomings in your life. So what I want you to do is look up those Scriptures where the word “happy” is found in the Bible and start meditating on those things and you are going to see a change. In the meantime, whether you see a change or not, you need to know that God is very pleased with you for acting over your feelings.

Question:

Answered on 04/12/06:

Psalm chapter 42, “Why so downcast? Why so in despair O my soul? Put your hope in God.” See, when you put your hope in God, that’s when you’re going to be free from despair. But when your hope is in anything else or in anyone else, you’re going to lose hope. When your confidence is in people rather than in God, you’re going to end up being depressed and disappointed. So, that’s the number one way to overcome despair and despondency is to put your hope back in God. Get your eyes on Him and He will not disappoint you.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

You’re the steward over your body and your mind and your emotions. You’ve got to make sure that in solving one problem, you’re not going to create 15 other problems. If a medication that’s prescribed to you is something that can help your body and not break it down in other areas, I don’t see anything in the Bible that’s against that. Remember, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit; therefore, you have to glorify God with it and put things in it that are healthy. God is the healer. He is for doctors. He is for medicine. Anything that brings healing in your body, He is for it.

Emotions » Anger

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

So just because we grew up with somebody doesn’t mean that they understand the Word of God or have our best interest in mind. But you have to live by the Word of God; you have to stand on it. And James 1 says, “Count it all joy when you encounter these trials.” It talks about rejoicing when people persecute you, when people are against you. Consider it a joy and privilege that you are, in a way, able to suffer for the name of Jesus by being persecuted or mocked by your mother or your relatives.

Question:

Answered on 05/04/06:

James 1:19, Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” I want you to study that verse and I want you to pray over that verse.

There are three steps to being free from anger there. Number one, He says, “Be quick to hear.” The thing that gets us angry is when we jump to conclusions that we don’t necessarily have all the facts. So, let’s be quick to hear. That’s the first thing. Let’s listen to what other people are saying. Let’s listen to what our heart is saying and, let’s listen to what God is saying. We need to be quick; we need to be in a hurry to listen. This is the first step to overcoming anger.

Number two, He says, “Be slow to speak.” The second key to overcoming anger is doing be in a hurry to talk. Be in a hurry to listen and don’t be in a hurry to talk. Be s-l-o-w. The Bible says, “Where there are many words, transgression is unavoidable.” So, let’s be slow to speak. Let’s not be in a hurry to say something that we feel. Our feelings are going to change at times in our lives. What we have to do is be careful not to say everything that we feel because we will end up saying something that will hurt somebody and damage somebody else and damage ourselves.

So, be quick to hear, be slow to speak. Then the Scripture says in the third part “Be slow to anger.” You say, “Well, how can you be slow to anger?” As you’re quick to hear and as you’re slow to speak, you’re going to become slow in being angry.

Then He tells us the secret at the end of that verse, “For the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” What He’s saying there is that when you have an understanding that anger will not achieve, your anger will not bring you your rights, anger will not make things right, anger will not change people, then when you get that understanding, when you have that revelation that anger will not achieve, you’ll stop getting angry.

Why do people get angry? Because we believe that when we get angry, we can manipulate people; we can make them do what we want them to do. We use it as a form of manipulation and control and we end up hurting ourselves and hurting other people in the process.

People will never do what you want them to do out of anger. Some people may do it just so that you’ll stop being angry, but it will never come from their heart and you’ll never have the true loyalty or the true love or the true obedience from that person.

That’s James 1:19. We also have a great teaching on our website. You can go to the Online Bookstore section of our website and look for a tape series called “Freedom from Anger.” We’ve had a lot of great testimonies from people whose lives have really been impacted. It will really bless you so try to get your hands on that.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

The second step is found in James 1:19–20: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” In other words, if you want to be slow to anger, you’ve got to start by being slow to speak. Before you say anything in the heat of the moment, pause, walk away from the situation, and then think about what you are about to say before you return to the situation. You’ve got to decide, “What are the seeds I’m about to sow? If I say what I feel like, am I going to get a good harvest?” And focus on being quick to listen. If you do that and become slow to speak, you’ll have more restraint in the heat of the moment.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

And, you know, children are a reward. Let’s start with that. Children are a reward. You’ve got to change your thinking; you’ve got to realize, God has rewarded you with those children. God has gifted you with those children. And you’re anointed; you’re capable of raising those children in a godly way, without having to get angry. But let’s talk about that.

First of all, having children did not cause you to become angry. Having children simply revealed the anger that was already inside of you. And that’s the most important reality you have to accept, and acknowledge. Circumstances don’t create a problem; they simply reveal a problem that already exists. And, so we have to come to grips with that. You have to come to grips with that. The circumstances—having children—did not create your anger. So you’ve got to be careful so that you don’t resent them when you think that they’re the source of your anger, then you’ll start to resent them even more, and it will feed into that anger and you’ll get even more angry towards them. And so you have to realize that they are not the source of your anger. The anger was already there. And that is the most important, critical assessment or acknowledgement that you have to make. The anger was already there. It just didn’t have an opportunity to show up and to manifest itself. Okay. That’s number one.

Number two, you have to realize. Here’s how I get people out of anger, and how I’ve gotten out of anger. You have to realize that James 1 says “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. What God is trying tell us in that verse is the reason people get angry is because they have a conviction in their mind and heart that anger will achieve something. That anger will accomplish something. And God wants us to have the truth—that anger will not achieve, it will not accomplish. So we have to accept that our anger will not achieve and it will not accomplish anything, and therefore that will be another reason why you’ll be restrained in your anger, and it will be another reason to withdraw your anger. Because, when you recognize that it will not achieve anything, then you’ll stop using it to manipulate and stop using it to try get people to do what you want them to do.

Thirdly, it says, “it does not achieve the righteousness of God.” So, one of the reasons we get angry is because we’re trying to be righteous, we’re trying to get things to be right in our life. We’re trying to make ourselves right, we’re trying to make others right, we’re trying to make the circumstances around us to become right. And that’s why we get angry. We’re using our anger to try to make things become right. Or try to cause things to become right. And what we have to do, is we have to go back, since we’re using anger to make things right, let’s find out a better way to make things right. And the better way is, Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5 that “He who knew no sin was made sin for us that we would be made the righteousness of God inHim.” And so we have to accept our righteousness and understand that we are the righteousness of God, that we are right with God, and God looks at us and says, “You are righteous, you are right.” He looks at us and He claims that we’re righteous through the blood of Jesus as we put our faith in the blood. That establishes our righteousness. You say, “What does that have to do with anger?” Well, simply this. It has to do with anger because we use anger to become right. We use anger to prove we’re right. We use anger to make other people act right. And what we need to do is we need to realize that we are right through the blood of Jesus. We’re righteous through the blood of Jesus, and that will deliver us from anger.

So, so far I’ve given you several steps to take in dealing with anger and you can go to our website, at changinglives.org and you can get more information on anger. We have some great teaching. Simple steps. “Absolute Freedom From Anger” is a great teaching that we have. You can order that material. That will also help you deal with anger.

And another thing that I would do in your household since you are raising children, is you have to realize that one of the reasons we get angry is because we tolerate bad attitudes and bad behavior in our children. We tolerate it until it bothers us. And what we have to do is we have to stop tolerating it right away. In other words, you can train your children to listen to your voice when you’re yelling, or you can train your children to listen to your voice when you’re speaking with a whisper. But all you have to do is you have to discipline them when they don’t listen to you.

With my children, I don’t have to raise my voice, and I’ve trained my children that I don’t have to repeat myself twice. Because when I say something once, and when they do it, they’re blessed. When they don’t do it, they are disciplined and they are punished. Not in an ungodly way. They’re spanked. They lose rewards. Or some way of being corrected. Then, we have a set of rules, we have a chart with rules and we have a chart with consequences and we have a chart with rewards as well. Good consequences and bad consequences. And when they violate one of those rules, then we implement immediately those consequences.

And if you implement them immediately when the action or the behavior takes place, or the attitude takes place, then it will change your child and you will not have to get angry because their behavior will not be over and over again, because you’re dealing with it the first time. And when they know that you’re going to deal severely with it the first time they violate a rule or have a wrong attitude, when they understand that, then they’re not going to cross that line a second time. But when you say, “Stop that Johnny” and then they keep doing it. And then you say, “Stop that Johnny!” and then they keep doing it. And then you’re like, “STOP THAT JOHNNY!” and they finally stop because you go so mad. You’ve trained them to only listen to you the third time, and you just trained them to only listen to you when you raise your voice at the highest level. Instead, say it one time, make sure they hear you, say it one time, and if they don’t respond, then you have to discipline them immediately.

And that will not only change your family and change your children, but it will change you—you’ll be so happy, you’ll find that joy. That joy will come back to you. And to all the parents that are listening to this broadcast, you’ll find your joy again, and you’ll love your children. I love my children. I love my children because they respond to me now. Right away, whereas they used to not. I had to discipline them, and train them, and it took weeks, months and years for them to do it. And even today, if as teenagers they don’t listen to me right away, they get consequences right away. I’m not saying anything twice. Why should I? Why should I get angry? Why should I get stressed out? Why should I have a heart attack in raising my children? I’m absolutely not going to do that. I’m going to say it once, and then if they don’t do it, they’re going to be disciplined. Period.

That’s how you got to be. That will stop the anger in your family, that will restore the joy back to your life. And that will cause you have godly children that will be raised to listen to the voice of God right away. They’ll listen to God’s voice. And you train them to hear your whisper. They’ll learn to hear that still small voice of God. Now I come home, we have dinner, we sit around the table and I say to my children, “What has God spoken to you today?” And they tell me. “Well, I just heard God tell me this.” Or “Today I heard in my heart God tell me this.” Or “I heard God tell me this.” And they’re hearing God’s voice. And you know why? Because I’ve trained them to listen to my voice. I don’t want God to have to tell them something twenty times before they listen. I want them to hear God’s voice and immediately respond. And how do I train them in that? By having them hear my voice, and immediately respond. I hope that you’ll follow that policy and your life will be changed.

Emotions » Fear

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

Prayer doesn’t cast out fear; perfect love casts out fear. So, we have to receive God’s love, we have to embrace it. We have to realize that love never fails. Love is more powerful than any other force and then, when we’re confident that God loves us, then when we pray, it’ll have power to accomplish things.

You’re afraid for your children, you’re afraid for this, you’re afraid for that. What do you do with that? The Bible says, “fear not.” How do we get to the place where we fear not? We’ve got to go to the Bible and find the promises in the Word of God that show us how to be free from fear and we have to stand on those promises to drive that fear out of our life. We have to be confident in the love of God and drive that fear out of our lives and then we pray out of faith, out of an attitude of believing.

This is why people don’t get their prayers answered: because they’re praying out of fear. And God doesn’t respond to fear; God responds to faith. So, you have to cast the fear out with love. So meditate on the love of God. Take the tapes from the teachings we’ve been doing about the love of God and listen to them over and over again. Look up all the Scriptures on the love of God and that will drive the fear out of your life.

And then you’ll be able to pray with confidence and you’ll be able to pray with faith because no longer are you afraid. And faith is what activates, faith is what pleases God. Faith is what causes God to respond to us. No one can come to God without faith. No one can appeal to God without faith. Nothing’s going to change without faith. So that’s where you start.

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

So you’re wondering, where do you get that perfect love? Where do you find that perfect love? It is only God’s perfect love that casts out fear because only God has perfect love. My love for you is going to fail. Your spouse's love for you isn’t going to be enough. Your friend’s love for you isn’t going to be enough. But God’s love is enough.

And so, what I would encourage you to do is meditate on the love of God. Get some of our tapes on the love of God. You can even download some things for free at changinglives.org. Find some material on God’s love and it will show you how to be delivered from fear because of the love of God. We also have a tape called “Seven Ways to Drive Your Deepest Fears Away.” Search the Online Bookstore section of our website and we’ll get you the information that you need.

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

And that’s what I would encourage you to start with. And I would also encourage you with this Scripture, Philippians 4:6-8, that you cast your cares upon Him in all things with prayer, you make your requests made known to Him and the peace of God will guard your heart and your mind in Jesus Christ. He’s your Prince of Peace. You go to Him and you ask him to be that Prince over your heart and He will.

Question:

Answered on 05/11/06:

Here’s a great Scripture for you: 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” And 1 John 4:18 which says, “Perfect love casts out fear.” I think the thing you need to think about and meditate on is how much God loves you and how great His love is towards you because as you are confident in His love, that will drive fear far from your life. So, be confident in the love of God and that fear will leave you.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

Another thing I want to remind and encourage you about is that a pilot in an airplane has to trust the instruments. There are times when he feels as if the plane is going in the wrong direction, but he has to trust the aircraft’s instruments and what they are telling him rather than what he is feeling. So, you may be afraid, but you have to put your trust in the instrument of God’s Word because God’s Word is the instrument that will take you to where you have to go. Turn your steering wheel toward the promise of God even though you might still feel those feelings of fear. Eventually those feelings will dissipate and disappear. The point is that no matter what you feel, you have to walk by faith and not by sight. Don’t be fooled into thinking that just because you are feeling fear you are fearful. Just because those feelings come, they don’t have power over you. Act on the Word of God, and you will see great things happen in your life.

Emotions» General

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

And what people need to do is they need to get secure in God’s love. They need to be secure in that they have gifts and they have abilities and that they’re special and that they’re not like anybody else. People need to know that they are significant in their relationship with God. And if people don’t feel that sense of significance and security, then what they’ll do is they will become jealous of somebody else when somebody else has something that they want or that they think they deserve.

My feeling on that is when people are jealous towards you, you got to forgive them. When they’re picking on you, you just got to ignore it. Let it go and you just got to not be offended. That’s the biggest thing that you have to overcome is taking it personally. Do not be the mama of somebody else’s drama. That’s what happens, right? We end up being the villain of their drama, of their movie. They’re the hero and we’re the villain and we need to just stop letting them allow us to be the villain and just step back and don’t take it personally. You’re not going to be able to stop it unless it’s something that you’re doing deliberately. You’re not going to be able to stop people from being jealous of you sometimes. So you just walk in love and then whatever they do is between them and God.

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

Sure, money does solve some issues in life, but it doesn’t solve the more important issues. It can’t heal a sick person and can’t guarantee a good marriage. It can guarantee a good wedding, but it can’t guarantee a good marriage. That is something people should really pay attention to. Money can buy you a great wedding but it can’t buy you a great marriage. Money can buy a great car but it can’t buy you peace while you’re driving in that car. Money can buy you a great house, but it can’t create love and warmth and genuineness that are in that house. So yes, Jesus said "the peace that I give to you," in John 14, "is not the peace that this world gives," but it is the peace that comes from Him. That peace passes all understanding. That peace is directly from Jesus Christ.

So yes, rich people have problems, people with money have problems. They have more problems. It is just more expensive problems. They have the same sin for habits that other people have, and they need the same deliverance. A poor person without Jesus might commit adultery in an automobile. A rich person without Jesus is going to commit adultery in the Ritz Carlton Hotel. Both of them are going to commit adultery without Jesus. So, neither of them are happy. Richer people have more expensive places they can be unhappy. They are not any happier because of the money they have.

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

But I think you hit on the most important word when you said that sometimes you feel “ashamed.” Sometimes you feel shame when you try to advocate for yourself, when you try to obtain something for yourself. And that’s the word that has to be dealt with. You have had shame in your life. You feel ashamed. You feel embarrassed, you feel like you’re not worthy, like you don’t deserve these things. And God wants you to know there is no shame in Him. When you come to Him, He wipes away your shame. I think that’s what you need to do; you need to overcome the mentality of shame.

Now, how do you do that? We did a teaching on this and for time’s sake, I’m going to refer you to our product line at 1-888-438-5433. We have a tape called “No More Shame.” And this will help you to understand the practical steps that you can advocate for yourself and ask for the things that God wants you to have and ask for the things that you want and fight for yourself in a sense. I know you’re not going to fight people for it, I know you’re not going to harm people for it, but you need to be free from shame. And that’s something that Jesus has wiped away through the cross and His blood has washed you from. You don’t need to be ashamed. You’re worthy to receive those things.

Jesus said, “Look at the sparrows of air, look at the grass of the field. Your Father clothes them and He feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they are? And He feeds them and He clothes them and He provides for them. How much more will He do for you who is worth so much more than the grass or the birds of the air.” So, I hope that Scripture in Matthew chapter 6 helps you. Study that and get our tape on “No More Shame.” It’ll really be a blessing to you.

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

If you sow marijuana seed in your backyard, the judgment in that marijuana seed has built in within itself that it’s going to produce marijuana, that it’s going to produce a fine or an arrest if you’re caught with it. And all that is not the judgment of God. All that judgment is the judgment of that seed. So within the seed, it carries the judgment that is built into it.

And so now you’ve committed fornication and sinned against your body, sinned against God, sinned against this man, sinned against your future husband, and inside of the seed of fornication is the judgment of a broken heart. Inside of the seed that you’ve sowed.

I want to encourage you for the future, be careful about the seeds you sow in every area of your life and realize that judgment is contained and built in to every seed that you sow, whether that seed is financial, whether that seed is a decision, whether that seed is a thought, judgment is built in to that seed. Have you confessed this sin to the Lord and asked Him to forgive you? James 5:16 says confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you would be healed. You’ve already confessed your sin to the Lord and you’ve put your trust in the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, correct? Then you’re forgiven.

But to be healed of it, sometimes we need prayer according to James 5:16. Stay out of that relationship and stay out of any future relationship until you’re ready to get married. Only when you get married, that’s the time to enjoy sex. Stay out of relationship sexually with people. And the way to do that is to stay out of relationships that put you in a compromising situation. I encourage people that if they’re going to date, they date in groups, they date with other people so that they don’t put themselves in an awkward situation.

Question:

Answered on 07/19/06:

There’s a reason why we’re not happy. We get depressed and sad when we have a sense of powerlessness, when we don’t feel the power to change the situations in our life, when we feel powerless over the condition, powerless over our situation. So what do we need to do? We need to get understanding and wisdom because that will give us the power that is necessary to do something about our situation. That’s number one.

Number two, it says in Romans 14, “Happy is the man that does not condemn himself.” So if you want to be happy in life, you got to stop condemning yourself. Stop being a perfectionist. Stop feeling like everything has to be perfect in your life in order to be happy. Or that you have to be perfect in your life in order to be happy.

Happy is the one who does not condemn himself. How do you stop condemning yourself? If you’re born again, you need to realize that in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation, and if you’re born again, you also need to realize that God is not finished with you. And furthermore, God is the God of second chances. If you’ve failed, if you’ve blown it, get up. God is the God that will give you another chance.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

Jesus was tempted with every emotion that you’ve been tempted with. He was tempted with everything that you and I have been tempted with. And yet, He was without sin. He understands the pain that you’re going through. He understands the feelings that you feel. Go to Him. Go to Him and tell Him how you feel. Go to Him and ask Him to heal you. And pour your heart out to Him. And get some good Christian counseling where you can talk to somebody in confidence and you can tell them everything you feel and everything you’re going through and they can walk you through this process. And you can express all those emotions and get them all out on the table.

When David was betrayed in 1 Samuel chapter 30, it says he poured out his heart to God, he wept until there was no more strength in him to weep. And he got all of his emotions out on the table. And that’s what you need to do. And then you’re going to need a good Christian counselor to help you to walk through those emotions so that you can be restored.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

What is the shield of faith? Faith is putting your trust in God’s Word. Faith is believing what God says. So whenever you stop believing what God says, you’re lowering your shield and you’re opening yourself up to being hurt by something somebody says to you, or something somebody does to you. So what do you do? You put that shield of faith up, you believe whatever God says, don’t be moved by whatever anybody else says or whatever anybody else does to you. The Bible also says that we need to love the Word of God—Psalm 119:165 says, “When you love the Word of God you’ll have great peace, and nothing will hurt you.” Nothing will hurt you. The Scripture also says, “Take no offense.” That means don’t open your heart up. That means don’t let it in. Don’t allow somebody to bring you down. Don’t lower yourself to somebody else’s level.

So there’s several things you can do when somebody hurts you. Forgive them. And toughen up. And love God’s Word and you won’t be offended. And put that shield of faith up. Keep believing the Word of God. You see, people hurt you when you put more trust in them than you do in God. So that’s what you do. You put that shield of faith up, put your trust in God, and nothing anybody does to you or says about you will be able to hurt you. Also, I want you to go to the Scripture in Luke 10:19, where it says that, “Behold I give you power to trample upon serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Wow. So what do you do? You take your authority over the devil, exercise that authority over the devil, that’s what you do when somebody hurts your feelings. Forgive them and follow those steps that we just went over.

Question:

Answered on 03/16/06:

First of all, if you continue to make decisions like that, you’re going to succeed in life and you’re going to be happy in life. One of the things that we talk about where marriage is concerned is the essentials of a great marriage. And this will answer your question as well. Let me answer the question by saying that the number one ingredient for a successful marriage is inward contentment. So that answers your question in that as a single person, you might be seeing all these other people engaged and getting married and you feel jealous and you feel like “why couldn’t I be that bride?” and “always the bridesmaid and never the bride.” But you need to realize that inward contentment is the key to a successful marriage.

Inward contentment is the key to a successful life, and therefore, that ought to be your goal. And we should talk about some of the things that will produce inward contentment. And one of them is to not compare yourself to other people. If you want to have inward contentment, you got to stop comparing yourself to other people. And number two, you have to stay in the presence of God. The Bible says, “In His presence is fullness of joy.” I know that what you’re feeling right now is, “if I could get in the presence of the man of my dreams, I would have joy.” But the Bible says, “In the presence of the Lord, there’s fullness of joy.” So that’s what I want to encourage you to do: spend time with God. Develop that joy with Him. Develop that inward contentment with Him and you’ll stop being jealous of your friends and you’ll be happy as a single person.

Another thing that the Bible says makes us happy is getting wisdom and understanding. Proverbs 3:13 says, “Get wisdom. Get understanding. Attaining it is better than silver and gold. And all that you desire cannot be compared to her. Happy is the man that gets understanding.” Happy is the woman that gets wisdom and understanding. So, get wisdom. Get understanding. How do you get it? You ask God for it. You search it in the Scriptures. Get it. It’ll make you happy. It’ll bring joy.

Another thing that will make you happy, since we’re on the subject… The Bible says, “Happy is he that does not condemn himself.” Romans chapter 14, “Happy is he that does not condemn himself.” And so, what you have to do is you have to overcome and you have to deal with the issue of condemnation. And you’ll be happy when you stop condemning yourself. I have a whole teaching on “How to Never be Condemned Again.” Go to our website at changinglives.org and get that teaching. Happy is the one,” Romans 14. I believe it’s verse 20. “Happy is the man that does not condemn himself.”

PASTOR GRACE says: And also, remember, marriage is to give. And so, if you’re not happy before you’re married, you may not be happy during marriage. There’ll be something else you wish you had or somebody else has this or that.

Pastor Dickow: And it won’t be long before you’re married and you won’t be happy with that marriage. If you’re not happy with your life as a single, and you get married for that reason, it won’t be long before you’re not happy with that marriage. You’ll want to get out of that marriage and get into another one or you’ll want to play around and cheat and all those things and you’ll be a “desperate housewife” and we don’t need that in this generation. We don’t need that among Christians and among believers. It’s amazing how that program can be one of the number one programs on TV. So many people that are desperate, so many people that are longing for fulfillment and satisfaction. And we can get to a point where we’re not desperate anymore when we find our inward contentment in Jesus Christ. And that’s the only place you’re going to find any inward contentment anyway is in a fulfilling personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Inside of every person is a vacuum and it’s a hole inside of every person. It’s a God-shaped hole, a God-shaped vacuum. It can only be filled by God. And if you try to fill it with anything else, it’s like a square peg in a round hole – it just doesn’t fit. A husband can’t make it fit. A wife can’t make it fit. Sex can’t make it fit. The only thing that’ll truly make it fit is inward contentment that comes from a beautiful relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus needs to be your man and you’ll be happy. I know that’s hard for some people to take. They’d rather hear you say, “well, here’s how to find the right mate and all that.” But it really is the answer and it’ll make you free. Jesus is the answer for the earth today.